TRUTHS ABOUT MARRIAGE
婚姻的真相
1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
1.结婚就像你和几个朋友到了一家欧洲餐厅。你点了你想要的，之后看了一下周围，这时候才发现别人盘子里的才是你真正想要的。
2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
2.鸡尾酒会上，一个女人对另一个女人说："你的结婚戒指好像戴错了手指了。""没错！"另一个女人回答，"我嫁错了人！"
3. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
3.一个男人在结婚之前是不完整的。结婚之后，他就终结掉了。
4. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" and the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."
4.男孩问父亲："爸爸，结婚要花费很多吗？"。"我不知道，儿子。"父亲回答说，"反正到今天我还在为它买单。"
5. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
5.婚姻是一所大学，在那里男人失去了学士学位（与光棍资历同意），女人取得了硕士学位（和主人地位同意）。
6. Young son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in most countries, son."
6.年轻的儿子说："爸爸，你知道吗，在非洲的某些地方，男人在结婚之前压根就不认识他的老婆。"父亲说："儿子，这不稀奇，大多数国家都是这样的。"
7. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
7.一个男人说："结婚之前我根本不知道幸福是什么，等知道的时候已经晚了。"
8. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
8.幸福的婚姻本质上就是给予和索取：丈夫给予，老婆索取。
9. When a newly married man looks happy we know why. When a TO-BE married man looks happy we ALL know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - We wonder WHY.
9.一个新婚男人看起来很快乐，我们知道为什么；一个即将结婚的男人看起来很快乐，我们也知道为什么；可是当一个结婚已经十年的男人看起来依旧快乐的时候，我们就要问，究竟是为什么啊？
10. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
10.婚姻生活让人沮丧。结婚头一年，男人说女人听；结婚第二年，女人说男人听；结婚第三年，男人女人都在抱怨，邻居听。
11. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." and the husband replied, &uot;Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
11.争吵过后，妻子对丈夫说："你知道吗，当年选择嫁给你，我真是个傻逼。"丈夫回应："是啊，当时我太爱你了，根本就没有发现这一点！"
12. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
12.男人结婚后无论换多少份工作都不要紧，他的老板永远不会换。
13. A man inserted an "ad" in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
13．一个男人在报纸上登了一则分类广告：征老婆。第二天，他收到一百封来信，写着同样的话：把我的拿去吧！
14. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car or wife is new.
14.假如一个男人主动给他的妻子打开了车门，你可以作出一个判断：老婆和车子中间至少有一个是新的。
15. A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.
15.完美妻子就是能够帮助丈夫洗碗。
16. A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him," asked the friend. Woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."
16.一个女人跟朋友吹牛："是我让我的老公变成了百万富翁！"，"那你们结婚之前他是个什么样子？"朋友好奇地问。女人回答："千万富翁。"
